I am broken.
This body, my strength and emotions betray me and show me that I am weak.
The balance of wellness in my mind and body are fragile.
There are days when I am so much weaker than others,
when my mind is so much more susceptible to negative thoughts,
when my emotions are out of control.
It seems that each year that goes by I realize more how desperately I need God’s help,
It’s like instead of having it more together as time goes by my broken state is more obvious to me every year.
The thing is, I don’t want to broken. I don’t want to feel weak. I don’t want my frailty to be what is first seen in me. I want to be strong, able, unbreakable and tough.
But if I were, would I know this desperate need for Him?
Isn’t this all the very reason He came for me? (and you!)
He wants me to invite Him into all these broken places inside of me. (and you!)
The moments of helplessness are meant to be given to Him, because He is able.
When my emotions seem to hold me captive to what might be, they must be nailed onto the cross with He who IS.
I want to want Him more!
I want to hunger more for His presence in my life.
And so I find myself constantly broken, weak and needing Him.
I find it is grace to me.